three hundred eighty-four thousand
by isolatedsociety
Summary: Cinder and Kai tackle the challenge of a relationship when they're both scarred by war, running separate countries, and over three hundred thousand kilometers apart. Teenagers in love have a tendency to do crazy things, and they might just pull this off. Intended to fit with canon.
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this first chapter in two days because I just wanted to get some sort of story out. It's a little angsty and a little redundant, but hopefully cute at some points. I have at least one more chapter, but there won't be more than three.**

**WARNING: PTSD, mildly graphic (?). Just be careful.**

**Takes place almost immediately after ****_Winter. _**

Cinder thrashed awake.

She sucked in a breath, feeling like her lungs couldn't possible take in all the air she needed. Her artificial heart pounded in her chest and her head, and it was all she could hear, just that frantic drumbeat. _How many left, how many more heartbeats, how could she…_

The Queen of Luna pushed out a breath, then sucked in another. She was ok, she won, her friends were alive. (Except for the bodies in the streets that she saw out of the corner of her eye every time she left the palace. Except for all the people who would only ever know the world her aunt ruled). She shook her head, trying to push the thoughts away.

Sleep was absolutely out of the question. Cinder padded over to her closet, then sighed, bending over to pick up a faded blue sweatshirt from the floor. A quick sniff proved that it was still wearable. Iko's voice murmured in the back of her mind about the proper attire for a queen, but Cinder put that aside. According to her internal clock, it was the middle of the night, and if anyone important saw her, it was their problem.

As she left her room, she gave the guard a quick nod that she hoped was a respectful acknowledgement of his presence and an expression of gratitude for his service. Almost every day, she had to stifle the urge to make some excuse or explanation for her actions- she'd learned quickly that it really only made the situation more awkward.

Lost in thought, Cinder wandered through the halls of the palace (_her _palace). Trying to keep her footsteps as quiet as possible, she crept past the gilded doors. A chill made her shiver, and she wrapped her sweatshirt closer to her skin, trying to preserve her warmth. Ducking her head, she kept walking.

With a little start, she realized she'd arrived at the throne room. She snorted. At this rate, she'd practically be Levana in weeks. Following that joking thought through made her shudder, and her brain flicked to the memory in this same room.

_Blood. Knife. Yelling, yelling, so much blood, so much-_

Cinder forced her memory to something else, something more recent.

_She's in the courtyard with Winter, still recovering from her own injuries. The two sit watching the world, but really seeing nothing. Winter hums quietly, some song Cinder's sure she knows but can't seem to place. She can feel a lump in her throat- she came here to ask something._

"_How did you deal with it?" she blurts out, a thought half-formed._

_Winter cracks one eye open to look at her, waiting._

_Cinder swallows. "The visions. The- the nightmares."_

_Her cousin looks straight into her eyes, head cocked to the side, considering. "Jacin always tells me to breathe." She shrugs. "So I do. Like I have all the time in the world. Like it doesn't feel like my heart can barely take the pressure of living." Winter smiles. "Like I can fill my lungs with starlight."_

Back in the throne room, Cinder sucked in a breath. She tore her eyes away from the floor to look out the window, right at the stars. She filled her lungs with air until they felt like they could burst, and then she let it back out. (And again, and again). Her heart rate returned to normal, and the warning icon that had popped up to the side of her vision faded away.

With a little sigh, she walked closer to the window, eyes fixed not on the stars but on the planet below. The blue light cast wavering shadows over the room, giving it the look of being underwater.

Tentatively, Cinder pressed her human hand against the pane. Her palm left a print of condensation as the cold seeped into her skin.

She wondered if she'd ever stop missing home.

Her eyes flicked to the spot of light on the planet that she knew to be New Beijing. Kai had only left a week ago, but she felt his absence like a sharp pain in her side. She knew she couldn't mope around about her boyfriend taking off to go back to running a country when she had a country in ruins to run herself, so she tried to occupy herself. But right now, there was no national problem immediately on hand for her to meditate, so her mind flitted right back to him. The only thing to do was go to sleep, and she was still not excited with that thought.

Cinder swallowed. She was pretty sure she'd be crying right now, if she could. (Though she hoped not. _Queenly behaviour_ and all that).

Entirely on impulse, she pulled up her comm messages on her iris display, her attention landing on Kai's name. A quick check of international clocks showed it was early morning for him, but not unreasonable. He was probably awake, maybe eating breakfast?

Cinder didn't bother thinking it through and sent him a quick message.

**C: Good morning.**

Immediately she regretted it. A knot of anticipation twisted in her stomach, and she had to remind her lungs to keep working. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, unsure of how to follow this through.

**K: Can't sleep?**

Cinder let out a small laugh that sounded a lot more like a sigh.

**K: Honestly I'm the same way. It's been a while since I've slept through a night.**

**C: I keep thinking we're still fighting. I'm sure eventually I'll figure out that we won.**

**K: One day ;)**

She let out another laugh, this one more genuine. Relaxing, she turned around to sit with her back against the window, shifting until she was comfortable.

**K: But seriously, how can I help?**

**C: Always the nice one.**

**K: …**

**C: Just talking is nice. You could keep doing that?**

**K: Easy enough**

**K: Hold on a sec**

**C: Ok?**

**K: Now I'm looking right at you**

**C: Creepy.**

**K: You're a comedian. Can you see me? I'm waving**

Cinder snorted. Humoring him even when he wouldn't know the difference, she turned around so she was back to looking at the earth.

**C: Oh yeah. Your hair's a mess, just so you know.**

**K: Wrong! I'll have you know that I just brushed it.**

**C: Picture or you're lying.**

A second later, a photo popped up before her eyes. Kai was standing on what looked to be a balcony. The sky was just lighting up behind him. His hair did look newly brushed, but he was screwing his face into an expression of comical disgust.

**C: What are you doing with your face?**

**K: Don't you know? That's my photo face. Just look at the newsfeeds.**

**C: Pretty sure you're only making that face on the inside :)**

**K: I've been caught.**

She felt her smile across her face. Even though they hadn't talked like this in almost a week, it still felt natural. (Even though it wasn't _really_ talking. Even though absolutely nothing about it was natural).

**K: Is there anything particularly bothering you tonight?**

Cinder sighed. As much as she'd like to go back to the sarcastic banter, she knew she should tell him. She'd learned well enough last year that hiding the truth was only ever going to make things worse.

**C: I just have these nightmares.**

**K: Do you want to talk about them.**

**C: No.**

**C: That's not true. I do, I just don't know the words.**

Kai didn't reply, obviously waiting for her to pull her thoughts together.

**C: They're never really about something specific. Usually I'm drowning, like in the lake. Sometimes it's made of blood. And I'm always surrounded by people, but I can't see their faces. And it just hurts, so much, not physically, but something else.**

**K: No wonder you're up right now.**

**K: If it makes you feel any better, you're definitely not the only one. **

**C: You too?**

**K: Yeah.**

**K: Mine are less clear than yours, but in all of mine I'm looking for something important, but I can't find it, and in every room I look in, Levana's right there, wearing a different face every time. Holding that knife.**

Cinder paused to swallow. She wondered if all of her other friends were like this too- still fighting when they'd won. Really, Cinder had been fighting all her life for a place to exist in. Could she ever stop?

Another message from Kai scrawled across her vision.

**K: What you said earlier, about not getting that we won, I'm the same way. It's hard to see the little things as important, even if they are.**

**C: To be fair, it hasn't really been that long. I guess we just need to adjust.**

**K: Still sucks though.**

**C: For sure.**

**K: I have to go. But if you still want to talk, maybe I can get back to you later?**

**C: Nah, I think I'm going back to bed.**

**K: Lucky, I wish I could do that. Sweet dreams.**

**C: I hope so. Thank you.**

**K: My pleasure. Please, come again.**

With a chuckle, Cinder dismissed the comm messages from her iris display. She yawned as she stood up. According to her clock, she could get a few more hours of sleep before the meetings and decisions started.

As she headed towards her room, her mind drifted back to the nightmares Kai had described. The revolution had left deep scars on all of her friends, but theirs were not as visible as Wolf's mutations or Thorne and Scarlet's missing fingers. Maybe they all had these nightmares, these lingering feelings of fighting that was done.

For Cinder, this was so much harder to deal with. It was easy for her to point at the scar over her heart and say, _Here is where the pain is_, but these dreams came from a different sort of pain. The sort she felt when the image of the people who had died for her on the palace steps flashed across her mind.

Cinder reached her bed and flopped down, lying on her back. She traced aimless patterns on the dark ceiling with her eyes. Exhaustion pulled at her, but her mind kept running in circles, not pausing long enough for her to rest.

With a frustrated sigh, Cinder rolled on her side, then the other, trying to get comfortable. When that didn't work, she got up again and walked to the screen that covered her small window. Carefully, she pulled it back so that she could see a sliver of the earth through the opening. Her eyes lingered there for a moment before she turned back to her bed.

Lying down, she scrolled through the messages she had just exchanged with Kai, trying to get back to that feeling of peace that had washed over her in the throne room. As her eyes traced the shapes of the ladders, a thought crossed her mind.

She probably loved him.

(She definitely did).

Cinder had known she loved him for a while, but here, alone, with his words as her anchor, she knew it. There was something a little different between loving someone and being _in _love with them.

"I'm in love with you," she whispered in the empty room, to a boy who couldn't hear her. The words sounded alien and completely natural at the same time. She said it again, quietly, but with more conviction.

"I love you."

Almost as a joke to herself, she looked at the corner where the lie detector light would have gone off, but it remain blank. (Even though it would have either way). It felt true enough to her.

Cinder turned on her side, fixing her gaze on that tiny piece of the bright blue earth that glowed in her window.

Three hundred eighty-four thousand and four hundred kilometers was a lot of space. But one day (maybe soon), Cinder was going to cross all of it and tell Kai, face-to-face, that she loved him.

One day.


	2. Chapter 2

Kai spun his chair to the left, then to the right. He shifted the stylus on the edge of the desk, then brought it back to its previous position. His hand twitched, wanting to push back his hair, but instead he folded his hands into his lap.

He tried so hard to be patient, but he genuinely could not stand waiting for this meeting to start. His commlink was ready, and he was right on time. Unfortunately, none of his colleagues could say the same. Meetings were _scheduled_ for a reason, after all. He was about to get up to grab a glass of water when a blue light flickered in front of him.

The holograph shimmered, then the likeness of Prime Minister Kamin of the African Union came into view.

Kai nodded at her. "Prime Minister."

She returned the courtesy. "Emperor. I was worried I'd be the last to join, but it appears the others have yet to arrive."

Before Kai could reply, three more blue lights shone in front of him. They came into focus as Queen Camilla of the United Kingdom, Prime Minister Bromstad of the European Federation, and- Kai sucked in a little breath- Cinder.

He had to remind himself that here, he should probably call her by her real name, full title, like he did with everyone else. _Queen Selene of Luna_. Kai wasn't exactly sure if he could manage that.

Cinder exchanged pleasantries with the others as Governor-General Williams of Australia entered the commlink, followed shortly by President Vargas of the American Republic.

Kamin cleared her throat. "If we could officially start this meeting, now that we've all joined."

The other diplomats nodded and quieted down, waiting. Kai drummed his fingers on his knee, ready to begin. He looked up and his eyes met Cinder's.

She smiled, just a little, the corners of her mouth pulling up.

She looked regal, and if Kai hadn't spent months learning her body language, he'd say she looked comfortable. However, the set of her shoulders gave her away. If anything, she was ready for some sort of fight.

Not that he was particularly surprised. Cinder seemed to live her life as a never-ending series of battles.

Kai's attention was torn away from her as Kamin projected an itinerary into the center.

The Prime Minister of Africa gestured to the list. "As discussed last month, these are the issues we need to focus on today."

Kai skimmed the items, but before he had time to really process anything, Bromstad spoke.

"I'm glad to see that the removal of the Lunar operatives is first on the list. They've been terrorizing my citizens for months now, and what is Luna doing about it?"

The entire group's attention moved to Cinder (_Selene, he really had to remember_).

She nodded, every second the queen. "We're trying, Prime Minister, but the operatives refuse any orders of surrender or recall. They are, effectively, deserters. Currently, we're trying to get together agents to send down to Earth to better take care of the problems."

Vargas sighed. "That's all well and good, your Majesty, but innocent lives are threatened daily nonetheless. More efforts are necessary."

Camilla gave a soft snort. "Vargas, you'd do well to remember that Luna is- no offense, Selene- in shambles. They're barely in a position to be doing _anything_."

Kai saw Cinder shift uncomfortably, either from Camilla's blunt assessment of her country, or from her given name.

Vargas spluttered a little. "Of course, I know that, but the blame still lies with Luna."

Kamin held up her hands, a gesture asking for reason. "We're a Union. To assign 'blame' is to force us apart."

Before Vargas could reply again, Kai butted in. "We're in a time of peace. Maybe we could all spare some military personnel to capture the Lunar operatives and hand them off to be taken back to Luna."

A few of the leaders refused to meet his eyes as he looked around the table, but no one outright disagreed with him.

"Where would you propose we 'hand off' the operatives?" Governor-General Williams asked, tapping his fingers against a table Kai couldn't see.

Cinder tucked a stray strand of hair behind one ear. "I'll establish individual drop sites with each of you?"

Kai nodded, and most of the others seemed to share the sentiment.

Camilla looked up at the itinerary. "Next issue, then?"

Bromstad cleared his throat. "No, I've got a question. Who's going to pay for the task forces to apprehend these Lunar operatives? Does this qualify as an international issue?"

Kai raised an eyebrow. "We're talking about it. That's what makes an international issue, right?"

Bromstad cocked his head. Kai could _feel _Cinder biting back a laugh, even though he wasn't looking at her.

"I suppose," Bromstad conceded. Williams grunted, and Kai stopped himself from shooting him a glare.

"Next issue?" Camilla repeated. No one argued this time. "Right then. New age anti-trust legislation. What do we have there today?"

The meeting continued, leaders throwing words back and forth. Everyone was polite, but Kai often found himself gritting his teeth. Sometimes, he just wanted to shout, but years of training kept his face passive. Aggression made everyone get defensive, and then nothing would get done.

With that thought, his gaze slid to Cinder again. Her chin was resting on her metal hand, her attention entirely on the discussion. He traced the pattern of those interlocking plates with his eyes. Honestly, it was impressive that she remained calm through these conferences. Though working her mechanic's both must have given her experience in customer service. This was practically the same thing.

He realized he'd been staring. And she'd noticed, too. She met his eyes with a slight smirk. He hoped he wasn't sporting a blush to match the heat he felt in his cheeks. As subtle as possible, he tried to return her grin.

"Emperor Kaito?" someone said, and he tore himself away from his girlfriend to go back to his job. (Running a country. Stars, why couldn't he focus?)

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cinder make a slightly embarrassed shift in her chair.

He really hoped none of the others had noticed. The last thing that either of them needed was their colleagues thinking they were lovesick teenagers. (They absolutely were, but no one needed to _know_ that).

Through the rest of the meeting, they avoided each other's eyes, trying to make up for the mistake. Finally, after almost three hours, they decided to conclude.

"Until next time, then?" Vargas said.

The other murmured their acknowledgement, and then their holographic likenesses disappeared.

Kai slumped in his chair and let out a small groan. He was _tired_\- he'd barely slept last night.

At a knock at the door, he turned to look at Torin.

"Your Majesty," the advisor said, giving him a nod. "How are the other leaders?"

"Everyone's fine," Kai said, standing up. Maybe he'd go get that glass of water now. "Politely trying to tear each other's throats out. I hate to say it, but Luna's giving us a rough patch."

Torin raised an eyebrow.

"Not Cinder, obviously," he quickly added. "But everything has been changing with them in the picture. For the better, of course, but it's a little rocky."  
"To be expected. Good things often don't come easy." The adviser gave him a knowing smile.

"No, they really don't," Kai said, but his tone was light. "I'm getting some water. I've got what, an hour before the meeting with the representatives?"

"Forty-five minutes, sir."

Kai chuckled. "Thanks, Torin."

He smiled. "Should I leave you alone for your forty-five minutes of peace?"

"That would be wonderful."

* * *

Kai grabbed his long-awaited glass of water and returned to his desk. He pulled his portscreen out of his pocket and absentmindedly scrolled through the newsfeeds, looking out for some new crisis. (It wasn't that he wanted there to be one, he just needed to be informed). Finding nothing, he spun in his chair, sipped at his water, looked at the ceiling, looked at the time, and decided to go for it.

He pulled up Cinder's contact information and touched the 'call' icon.

He really hoped she wasn't busy.

The call went through, and Cinder's face appeared before him. She looked tired, he noticed. The confident set to her shoulders from the meeting was gone, and she was slumped in her chair.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," he replied. What now? He'd called her on impulse, he didn't really have anything to say. He mostly had just wanted to see her.

Cinder watched him, a smile tugging at her mouth. "What's up?"

"I wanted to apologize," he said, trying to find something to say. "For blatantly staring at you through that meeting. That was not…"

"Professional?" she offered. He saw her fidget with her hands. "Yeah, I was staring a little, too."

"Completely unprofessional, Your Highness," he teased. "Unbelievable, especially for a person of your status."

She gave a soft laugh. "Right, sorry. You sound like my advisers, you know."

"I _am _your adviser." He shot her a shameless grin.

"Shut up. You're not a real, official, true _Lunar _adviser. You need to be so much more…"  
"Pompous?" Kai offered, biting back a laugh.

"Yes, exactly. If you want to be my advisor, you're going to have to step up your levels of pompousness." Cinder's grin was wide and full of mischief. "Shouldn't be too hard for you."

"Ha ha," he said, schooling his expressions. "Now that's unprofessional. Making fun of another world leader."

"You know what's truly unprofessional?" she said, keeping her face carefully blank. "Calling another world leader, individually, after a meeting with all of them. They'll think we're plotting something, you know."  
Kai snorted. "Guess we just won't tell them, then."

"It can be our secret," she said with a smile.

Kai's heart skipped a beat.

He really, really wanted to kiss her. Even though she was right in front of him, he felt her absence like a stab to his chest. Stars, she was far away. It would take days of travel to see her. Days of travel that simply weren't possible, for either of them.

Cinder's smile faded. She must have seen some of what he was thinking in his face, in his eyes. "What?"

He let loose a breath. "I just…" He gave a sad smile. "I really miss you."

Cinder wrapped her arms around herself. "I miss you, too."

Silence.

Kai gave a laugh. "Stars, this is hard. Harder than I thought it would be."

Cinder looked away. "Is it still worth it? For you?" Her voice was so, so small.

His stomach dropped. "Of course it is. _Of course it is. _You're kidding, right?"

She didn't say anything, but she smiled and met his eyes again.

"Cinder," he said, reaching a hand out on instinct, before he remember she was on a screen. "You're definitely worth the distance."

She sighed, and covered her face. "You _know _I can't blush. What am I supposed to do here?"

He chuckled. "Tell me I'm worth it, too?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Well…"

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding. You're absolutely worth it." He could see how her eyes sparkled, even through the screen.

They sat in a more comfortable silence for a beat.

"How long until the peace festival?" he asked, his voice soft.

"About six months."

"You've got a computer in your _brain_," he said. "Give it to me exact."

"Down to the hour?" she laughed.

"Yes, exactly."

"Five months, twenty-four days, and thirteen hours."

He nodded. "Cool. I'll start my countdown clock now."

"You do that." Her smile made his stomach spin.

"You owe me a dance, remember? I'm just waiting to collect." Kai leaned back in his chair.

Cinder rolled her eyes."I believe the actual agreement was that I owe you a _date. _And a dance or two is included in that package."

"Even better."

She shook her head in mock disapproval. Her eyes went in and out of focus, an action he knew meant she was looking at something on her iris display. Cinder sighed. "I have to go."

Kai looked at the time. "I probably should, too."

They looked at each other, trying for a moment to dissolve the space between them.

Cinder grinned. "Bye," she said, and the screen went dark.

He gave his own grin to the empty office. He spun in his chair one last time, then stood up. Straightening his jacket, he collected himself back into his role as Emperor, trying to wipe the stupid, lovesick smile off his face.

He wasn't sure he succeeded.

**I really just... talked about politics for the first 1,000 words of this? Fun. And the second half was just flirty teenagers, which is always a good time. Anyway, now I have to write them actually reuniting for my own closure. **

**Thanks for reading, have a good day or night. Take care of yourselves.**


	3. Chapter 3

They were closing the distance.

Cinder had just sent Kai a comm, telling him she'd boarded her ship. Her ship, back to earth, for the first time in almost a year. Thank the stars she was actually going; there had been points earlier in the week when she was sure she wouldn't be able to. As the ship pulled out of the hangar, she squared her shoulders.

_No going back now_, she told herself.

A grin spread across her face. She was going back to _earth_, finally. She loved Luna, her country, her people, she really did, but it was so hard to call it home. Often, she found herself alone in her palace. (Though not really; it was full of cabinet members and guards and staff, and she wasn't sure she'd ever had a moment of true solitude). None of her friends were with her though, save for Iko, and even she had been gone of late. More and more she found herself in her throne room, looking down at the blue planet below. Her artificial heart ached as she watched the swirling clouds and seas, the green and brown land below. It looked small, so close.

It wasn't. (Three hundred eighty-four thousand and four hundred kilometers. She'd memorized that number a few days after her coronation). Even on the ship, she knew it would take almost a full day of travel to get there.

With a sigh, Cinder sat down in one of the seats of her ship. She couldn't let herself get too excited, not yet. If she did, the next hours would be unbearable. She had to find something to occupy herself with while she waited.

Before she could do pull up some reports or something, a comm from Kai flashed across her retina display.

**K: I can't wait to see you**

Her stomach did a full acrobatic routine. Stars, she missed him. Even more now, when he was getting closer every minute. Not close enough, though, not yet. Cinder clenched her fist and let out a long, slow breath. She had to get herself under control.

Dismissing Kai's message (regretfully), she pulled out her portscreen and read the economic reports her cabinet had prepared for her. Luna's wealth distribution was still far more askew than she wanted it to be, but it was getting better.

If she was being honest, Cinder was proud of herself. She'd _helped _people, in a way she'd never dreamed she could. Some days, it felt like it was what she was meant to do. (It was, technically, what she was born to do). Though she'd fought for her crown, she had never really wanted it. Now, after she had officially announced her plans to abdicate, she found herself a little wistful.

It was the right thing to do, she was absolutely sure of it. Regardless, it was an ending of something hard-won, and the ending of an era. It hurt to let it go, to lose that control.

The right ending, she told herself. She would never be Levana. She'd make sure of it, and if she didn't, she was sure her friends would put her back in her place.

Her friends, all of them on the planet that she got closer to every second. Again, she pushed down her excitement, but she couldn't stop a tiny, giddy smile from spreading across her face.

* * *

Kai got Cinder's comm when he was in the back end of a meeting with the secretary of defense. They were discussing security preparations for the festival when her message telling him she was on her way appeared on his screen.

The Emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth completely lost his train of thought when he saw that message. His mouth went dry and he swallowed, trying to compose himself. He pushed the portscreen a fraction of an inch away from his body.

The secretary watched him, brows raised, waiting. "Your Majesty?"

"Sorry," Kai said, clearing his throat. Cinder wasn't going to be here for hours, anyway.

He launched back in the meeting, but he felt so much more restless than before. His knee bounced under the table, and he restrained himself from glancing at his portscreen every other second.

When he was done, he left the room and leaned against the wall of the hallway. He pulled out his portscreen again, rereading the comm. Cinder was going to be _here_, with _him_, in mere hours. Time had never felt so fast or so unbearably slow at the same time.

_I can't wait to see you_, he typed, and it was so close to the truth. He almost physically couldn't wait. His heartbeat was irregular as it echoed in his head. He was queasy and warm and almost dizzy. It was the best kind of sickness he'd ever felt. Letting it wash over him, he stood in the hallway for a count of ten, then he loosed a long breath.

Kai pushed a hand through his hair. There were still more preparations to do.

He walked through the palace, nodding to the servants, guards, and guests as he passed them. On a whim, he decided to look at the ballroom to see how the decorations were going.

It looked magnificent. The whole room had been transformed from empty, unused, and often gloomy space to a shining, welcoming hall. Golden lights and decorations glinted subtly in his peripheral vision, giving the ballroom a warm look. Smiling, he turned to the entrance, imagining his guests arriving for a celebration of peace.

Instead, he found himself unkindly hurled backwards in time, back to the last ball. Back to when Cinder had showed up at the ball in a mudstained dress, looking like she was ready to punch anyone who got in her way. He remembered how she'd looked right at him, how his heart had started thundering in his chest in response. It was like a dance, before they had even touched. (Not that Cinder could dance, really).

He hadn't known, then. Looking back, he'd barely known her at all. He had thought she was just a mechanic, a light of friendship (and something more) in a dark time. The rest of that evening had been one nightmare after another, but in that moment, lightning might as well have flashed across the room. For a split second, he'd thought that she had come to save him.

She had, eventually; she saved the entire goddamn planet. Also, she had shot him at one point, but they got past that easily enough. (Though Kai still liked to bring it up to provoke her a bit). That had only been a little over a year ago. _Only a year. _Everything had changed in those twelve months. Crowns and friends lost and gained. A whole world (and a moon) turned upside down in the best way possible. They were so much older now, Kai and Cinder, aged more in twelve months than anyone had a right to.

Maybe he'd take her to the market, to where her booth used to be, when she finally arrived. Then they'd see how far they'd really come.

Kai shook his head and turned away from the ballroom. This was absolutely destroying his productivity.

* * *

"Ten minutes until landing, Your Majesty."

Cinder nodded at the pilot. "Thank you."

She tucked her portscreen into her bag and let out a long, slow breath, but her heart was already pounding in her chest. She resisted the urge to set a countdown clock in the corner of her retina display, just so she could watch the seconds pass.

Instead, she turned to the window. They had just passed through the atmosphere, and she was beginning to see the details of the land below. Bumps of mountains, snaking rivers, and the thin line of the Great Wall. It was beautiful, and even greener than it looked from the moon. Cinder turned to see if she was in the pilot's line of sight, finding she was safe. Unseen in her corner of the ship.

With a giddy, childlike grin, she pressed her face against the cool pane of the window and watched the world rise up to meet her.

And then she saw New Beijing.

Tall, colorful towers in any shape imaginable, ones she had grown up gazing upward at. From the ground, they looked like they were about to scrape the sky, but from this ship Cinder could see that they were nowhere close. They took up a fraction of the horizon.

Her gaze shifted to the left. To the palace, their destination. _Kai's_ palace. She wondered if he was waiting for her. Stars, she hoped so. He probably was, with her being a royal guest and all.

And his girlfriend.

Her stomach turned. She talked to him often enough, but she hadn't seen him in months. They hadn't touched in months. What if she landed and finally saw him and it wasn't the same? She knew _she _was different. Revolution and ruling inevitably changed a person. But they could still be in love, couldn't they? People were always changing, anyway.

The palace was getting closer. She could see crowds of people below now, a whole sea of them. Waiting for her, either to welcome her or to call her a monster. She had known this was coming, though, and she was ready for it. Opposition was something she understood intimately.

Closer, and closer again. It was _right there_. She felt the humming of the ship change as it shifted into the landing sequence. Cinder gave her belongings a compulsory check to make sure she had everything, even though she'd gathered them ages ago.

The ship hit the ground.

Every single thought flew straight out of Cinder's mind. Shaking her head, she squared her shoulders and let out a calming breath through her nose.

The door opened, and sunlight streamed into the ship. Blinking, Cinder tried to get her eyes to adjust. Along with her ears- the world was suddenly so much noisier. The ramp hit the ground, and Cinder walked forward.

_No turning back now._

Reporters' cameras flashed, and she gave a little wave and a friendly smile and she walked out into the open.

"Cinder!" someone called. It sounded like Iko, and Cinder turned toward her friend's voice.

Instead, she found herself looking straight at Kai.

He was wearing a suit, like the ones she usually saw him in when she watched Commonwealth newsfeeds. His hair was shorter than when she had last seen it, and significantly messier. It was always at least slightly out of place, but the wind from her ship's landing had blown it in all different directions. (It was incredibly attractive).

His smile was exactly the same.

"Hello," he said, and her whole body warmed, even with her inability to blush.

"Hi."

They just looked at each other for a second, taking the other in, simply soaking up each others' presence.

Cinder realized she was staring, and looked away, at anything else. Her brain desperately looked for anything to say, something not awkward. "The weather's great today," she said quickly.

At the same time, Kai blurted out. "I hope your flight went alright."

"Oh, yeah, we're lucky, it was much hotter last week-"

"It went fine, no mechanical problems-"

They both fell silent, and for a second, it was unbearably awkward.

Kai blew out a breath, and gave her a lopsided grin. "Can we start over?"

"Yes, please," Cinder said, giving him a smile of her own.

He closed the distance between them and took her hands. "Your Majesty," he said, and she almost laughed at the title. "It is my great honor to welcome you back to planet earth and to New Beijing."

"Your Majesty," she said, throwing the line back at him, "it is a great honor to be here."

"That's a little better," he said, biting his lip.

"Not bad," Cinder said, then looked at their surroundings. "But what do we-"

And then he was kissing her. And she was kissing him. And it was the single greatest thing that could have happened.

The rush of new chemicals flew across Cinder's retina display, and she stifled a giddy laugh. She hadn't seen _that _in a while.

Kai's hands moved to encircle her waist, pulling her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing them chest to chest. She could feel his heartbeat, fast and strong in his chest. The heat of him was addicting; she wasn't sure she'd ever let go.

He pulled back, but their faces were still inches apart. His breath fanned her face. She wondered if they should step away from each other. After all, basically the entire world was watching. But he made no move to put distance between them, and she wasn't sure she wanted to at all.

Eyes twinkling, Kai gave her a grin that was bordering on a smirk.

"What?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Technically," he said, "that's the first time we've kissed since I had Garan's device implanted. Which means," he said, and his smile widened, "that there's absolutely no way in all the stars that you could be brainwashing me. And everyone knows it."

"Well, personally, _I _already knew that," she said, giving him a gentle push.

"Shut up," he said, and kissed her again.

When they broke the kiss this time, they stepped apart. Kai reached down and took her hand, giving it a little squeeze, and Cinder felt like she was going to bubble over.

"C'mon," he said, giving her a little tug. "Let's go see our friends."

Hand in hand, they walked into the palace.

* * *

_**Three days later: the night of the ball**_

Iko would not stop fussing with her hair.

Cinder supposed it was her job, but technically, she wasn't sure Iko actually had a real, defined job. Mostly, Cinder paid her a salary so Iko could just sort of… do her thing. Her absolutely invaluable thing. The thing that seemed to involve a lot of fussing, tonight.

"Sit _still_," she said, pushing her hands down on Cinder's shoulders.

They were sitting in front of a mirror, both of them in their dresses. Iko's was violently orange, but she pulled it off anyway. With her blue braids and dark skin, she was vibrant, stunning. "It's all about contrast," she had told Cinder when she ordered the thing. Cinder hadn't been so sure at the time, but she had to admit it worked.

Cinder smoothed her hands over her own dress. It was deep, dark blue, with straps that joined at the back of her neck. Near her waist, there were subtle gold accents that they had added more recently. The voluminous skirt was slightly shorter in the front than it was in the back. Iko had called it "trip-proof," which was a statement Cinder was almost positive she would prove wrong. No jewelry- Cinder had fought for that, and her hair was up, which was also a relief. As long as she didn't mess with it everything would be fine.

This was going to be fine.

Cinder stared at her own reflection, steeling herself for everyone's eyes on her, their judgements. Bad enough that she was a Lunar queen, she was also the Emperor's date. And to top it off, she still hadn't learned to dance.

There was a knock on the door.

Iko squealed, and finally took her hands away from Cinder's hair. "He's early!" She rushed to the door and opened it to reveal Winter.

"Oh," Iko said, clearly disappointed.

"Be nice," Cinder called. She got up out of her chair to walk over to meet her cousin.

"Your Majesty," Winter said, giving her a curtsy and a tiny grin. Behind her, Jacin rolled his eyes. "We came to say hello, cousin. Are you nervous?"

"Oh, absolutely," Cinder said, closing her door behind them. "Everything about this is…" She trailed off, searching for words. "I don't even know."

"Well," Winter said, taking her hand. "If you don't know, then it might as well be good."

Cinder gave her a smile.

Leaning against the wall, Jacin smirked. "This is the happily ever after, isn't it?"

"Who knew you were a sucker for fairy tales?" Cinder shot back. Winter chuckled.

Before he could reply, there was another knock at the door.

Cinder's heart stopped. Restarted. (Metaphorically).

She opened it herself this time.

Kai smiled at her.

He was wearing a red shirt, mandarin collar, swirling gold embroidery across his shoulders. His hair was almost neat, but not quite. She wanted to reach up and push it all out of place, but she kept her hands at her sides.

"I didn't know there was a party here," he said, peering at Iko, Jacin, and Winter. Jacin waved.

"Intentionally. You weren't invited." Cinder crossed her arms.

He rolled his eyes, but a second later his expression turned serious. "Ready?" he asked.

Her stomach turned warm and liquid as she looked at him, and for a moment, she was the one who believed in fairy tales. After all, here was her prince. (Emperor, technically). Cinder swallowed and nodded.

Kai held out his arm, and she looped her own through it.

"Wait!" Iko called, rushing over.

"You are _not _touching my hair again," Cinder grumbled, and Kai laughed softly.

"No, idiot, I'm not," she said, and pulled Cinder into a tight hug. "You'll be amazing," she whispered into her ear, then stepped away. "_Now_ you can go," she said, making a shooing gesture. "Go be perfect and beautiful."

Kai smiled at her. "Thanks, Iko. We'll see you in there?"

"Of course! Save me a dance!" she called, blowing a kiss, and then the door closed. Cinder and Kai walked down the hallway of the guest wing, arm in arm.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. Lightly, as to not ruin her hair, a thought she had only to appease Iko. It had been days, and she still wasn't sure she had adjusted to Kai's presence, his reality. It sent a thrill down her spine every time they touched.

"You look beautiful," he murmured, and she squeezed his arm.

"So do you."

"Thanks, I dressed up just for you."

Cinder couldn't be sure if he was kidding or not, but she laughed anyway.

"Funny, same here." She saw a faint blush creep up his neck. Leaning over, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Kai eyed her sideways. "What was that for?"

_I love you_, she almost said, but she bit her tongue. "Luck?" she said instead, with a shrug.

"We don't need luck," he said, smiling. "We already won."

She rolled her eyes, but the joke was over.

They were standing in front of the ballroom, at the host's entrance.

"What now?" Cinder asked.

"Now," Kai said, gesturing to two chairs, "we wait."

She sat down. "Exciting."

He shrugged. "The glories of hosting the peace ball." He sat down next to her, and after a moment, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his touch, letting him steady her. They sat like that as the minutes ticked by, neither of them too preoccupied with the time.

A guard turned from a corner. Likely, he had been standing there the whole time, which made Cinder mildly embarrassed.

"Your Majesty," he said to Kai. "It's time."

Kai nodded and stood, then offered Cinder a hand, every minute the gentleman. She snorted softly, but took it all the same. Linking their arms together, they turned as one to the entrance.

The double doors were pulled open, and they walked into the ballroom. It was already filled with people and the hum of conversations, but the noise had dimmed as soon as they set foot in the room. Cinder barely breathed. Kai stepped forward, and she let go of his arm. All eyes were on them- no, on _him._ On the young Emperor, the diplomat, the host, the ruler who had always known who he was.

He certainly looked the part.

Kai cleared his throat. "Welcome, one and all, to the Annual Peace Ball of Eastern Commonwealth. It is an honor to see faces here from across the Earthen Union, and from beyond. This year, we celebrate more than the peace of the Third Era. This year, we also celebrate the addition of Luna to our Union." He gestured to Cinder. For a second, she was the one everyone was staring at, but it wore off as soon as Kai spoke again. "This relationship is invaluable to our diversity, to our peace, and our growth as a planetary system.

"I think gratitude is order. Gratitude to my fellow leaders, and to their people. We are those who chose to think before fighting, who chose the future over and over, who chose peace." He smiled. "After all, that's what we're here to celebrate." He gave a small nod, signalling that the short speech was over.

The whole room broke out into applause, Cinder included. Kai turned to her, and everyone in the crowd went about their own business. From the corner, music began to play, a triumphant, dignified tune.

"How'd I do?" Kai asked her, smiling.

"Amazing. It's almost like this is what you're good at."

"Almost," he said, and kissed her cheek.

She looked up at him. "What was that for?"

"Luck," he said. When she gave him a playful shove, he laughed. "Oh, c'mon, you can say it but I can't?"

"Don't mock me."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said, slipping and arm around her waist. "Anyway, don't you owe me dance?"

"Do I?"

"Well, maybe I owe you one. Either way, this seems like a good time. They're playing music, after all."

She swallowed, taking his outstretched hand. "I still can't dance."

"It's because you never came for those lessons."

She shot him a glare, and he laughed.

"Listen," he said, still grinning. "You can't be _worse_, can you? And I'll be leading, anyway. Just go with it."

Cinder tried to push her anxiety away. They were all looking at her this year, even more than last time. This time, they knew who she was. "Lead on," she said, gesturing to the dance floor.

He led her down the stairs and as soon as their feet hit the dance floor, he pulled her close. His hand was warm and steady on her waist, an anchor as they swayed and spun to the music.

Cinder's heart was hammering away in her chest. She tried not to grip Kai' shoulder too hard, tried to hide the anxiety spinning frantically inside of her.

"Hey," he said, his voice soft, his hand pressing a little bit more into her hip.

She met his gaze. There was something there, behind his eyes. Something unknowable, something that she had felt growing in her own chest for a long time now. Something worth acknowledging.

"Hey," she whispered, and she felt her muscles relaxing, letting herself be led through the steps and swoops and turns.

He gave her a twirl and she grinned, feeling impossibly young and girlish. Feeling seventeen (which she was).

"You know," he said, and she looked back up at him, "this is kind of the dream."

Cinder's smile turned soft as she placed a hand on his chest, right over his heartbeat. His eyes twinkled, and she wanted to kiss him so much that she felt like she was being physically pulled toward him.

She hummed to herself. "This is the good future."

* * *

Kai was exhausted.

All night, he'd been dancing and smiling, playing a host and a leader and if he found a spare moment, a friend. Finally, the ball had come to its scheduled end, and the hall was empty again. It was a little disconcerting. The whole place seemed to echo with the color and conversation of the last several hours.

His friends were circled around one of the tables in the corner, leaning against each other, talking quietly. As he made his way over to them, he let his shoulders drop a little, loosening his grip on how he presented himself. These were the people who he didn't need to keep distance from. His former kidnappers. His family.

He remembered a joke Thorne had made once about Stockholm syndrome, and he laughed a little.

Cinder caught his eye and raised an eyebrow in silent question. He pulled up a chair next to her, giving her a slight shake of his head.

"Something funny?" she asked, poking at his side.

"Sure," he said, batting her hand away, a non-answer. "I'm pretty sure all of the guests were supposed to leave, but here you all are." He gestured at the group. "Still."

"Oh, you love us," Thorne called from the opposite side of the table.

"What are you going to do about it?" Scarlet asked. "Kick us out? Cinder won't let you."

Cinder shrugged. "I don't really let him do anything."

"You've got him wrapped around your little finger," Scarlet replied, shooting Kai a mildly apologetic glance.

"To be fair," Iko said, "He's got her the same way."

"Thank you, Iko," Cinder said, tucking her hair behind her ears.

Kai smiled at the nervous tick. "Yeah, thanks."

Under the table, Cinder threaded her fingers through his, and he squeezed in return.

As the conversation circled around, they leaned toward each other. They met in the middle, lining up their shoulders, each one a soft warmth at the other's side. Kai felt light and free, even though his body was heavy with exhaustion.

Eventually after what could've been hours, the conversation faded. Their voices lulled into silence, fitting with the empty ballroom. The group was tangled around each other, all of them half asleep in their chairs.

Kai stifled a yawn. "This time," he said. "I'm actually kicking you out. Go to bed, before we all end up sleeping on this table."

They said their goodnights, smiling and hugging then slowly walking out the door. Iko was the last to leave, sending a wink over her shoulder.

And then it was just Kai and Cinder.

Cinder and Kai.

Standing in the ballroom where one story had ended, one had begun, and one was still in the making.

They were still holding hands.

Cinder gave him a careful squeeze. "I…" she began, but never finished, her eyes searching his.

"You know," he said, softly. "I don't know if you've ever actually been in my room. Aside from when you kidnapped me," he added, "but we normally don't count that."

A slow smile curved across her lips. "I'd like to see it."

They walked hand in hand through the near silent palace. It felt strange, surreal. Kai found himself trying to keep his footsteps as quiet as possible to avoid breaking the feeling. Talking seemed out of the question.

Kai gave the guard at the end of his hall a quick nod, trying not to look embarrassed. He opened his door and led Cinder inside.

He watched her take in her surroundings. The bed, the closet, the door leading to the bathroom. The windows, the balcony, the desk. The empty space, the paintings on the wall.

"It doesn't really look like an Emperor's suite," Cinder said. It wasn't a question, but he could hear one anyway.

He looked away. "It isn't, not really. It's the same bedroom I've always been in. I could move into my parents' old room, where I should be, I guess. It just doesn't feel right. And it's not even that it used to be theirs, almost all of their stuff was moved somewhere else, anyway. It's just…" He trailed off, and he could feel the heat rising to his face. "It's always seemed like a room for two people."

"Oh," Cinder whispered, and tentatively she reached out, turning his face towards hers with a gentle press of her fingertips.

Kai leaned forward, knocking his forehead against hers. Their breath mingled in the space between them.

Slowly, she leaned into him, easing their lips together. His hands moved to circle her waist, pulling her against him. He could feel her heartbeat through her dress, through his shirt. He felt like he was dreaming, and he felt more awake than he ever had.

They broke the kiss, both breathless. For a moment, they just looked at each other. There was nothing searching in Cinder's gaze. It seemed like she was looking straight through his eyes, right into his heart. He wondered, fleetingly, what she saw.

He pulled away, just enough to lead her over to the balcony. Opening the door, he gestured for her to go out. It was an exaggerated movement, one meant to make her laugh. Shaking her head at him, she smiled and walked out into the night air. When she reached the edge of the balcony, she leaned forward, elbows on the railing. He joined her a second later.

"It's a beautiful view," she whispered.

He nodded. "Most of the time, if I'm out here, I'm looking at the moon."

Cinder turned to face him, a slight smile on her lips. She was still wearing her dress, though she'd definitely managed to rumple it. Her hair was falling around her face in wispy curls. The light from the moon and stars gave her an unearthly, bluish glow. Nighttime suited her, the queen of the moon.

The sight of her made Kai's heart stutter in his chest.

She flicked her gaze to the moon, and he followed suit. It was a crescent tonight, a sliver in the sky, but he could just make out the domes of Luna along the side.

After a long stretch of silence, she spoke."It's so hard to think of it as home."

"Is it?" he asked, his voice quiet and unassuming.

Cinder shrugged helplessly. "I don't think so."

"Where, then?"

For a long moment, she just looked at him. There was something in the air, in the space between them. He felt it curling around them. Like the pull of the tide before a wave hit.

In a small voice, Cinder said, "You, I think."

"Oh," he said, and the wave crashed on the shore.

He felt flooded, like he'd stepped in a puddle and fell in the ocean. But he wasn't drowning, wasn't floundering or gasping for breath. Another wave was pulling at his chest. It didn't feel perfect, it didn't really seem to flow, but it felt impossibly right.

"I love you," he said.

A smile broke out across her face. "Oh," she said, and he couldn't tell if she was mocking him or not.

"Shut up," he said, and she laughed. He pulled her into his arms, pressing them chest to chest. She just looked at him, smiling, eyes bright. She was so, so warm.

"I love you, too."

Kai grinned, and he met her in the middle for a kiss. Something about it was different, in the best possible way. It felt like burning up, like floating, like they were the only ones in an endless ocean.

It tasted like a promise.

* * *

**If you've read Wires & Nerve, then their reunion conversation is not exactly what's written there, but it's pretty close. Also, it should be entirely canon compliant, but I didn't do as much extensive rereading as I've done in the past.**

**Anyway, that's a wrap. **

**Thanks for reading.**


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